she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
