Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
