Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
