everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
