Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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