My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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