All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The beers last night were like the tears from god
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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