I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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