WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
