Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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