i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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