she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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