waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
