ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
