Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
