I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If I die, sorry about rent.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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