Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
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we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
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Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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