Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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