I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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