hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
