If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
