Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
