theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
