Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize