yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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