out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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