The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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