O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
