chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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