He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize