I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
