So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
