I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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