Her vagina should come with caution tape.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
