I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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