READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
