My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize