So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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