That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I fill condoms, not promises.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
