I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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