Three words: puerto rican gang bang
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
