just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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