last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
