We should be called the Road Head Warriors
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
