Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
