Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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