i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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