you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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