So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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