Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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