i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize