So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
