I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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