You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
